By not telling you the code, your spouse may be admitting to a secret of some sort. See if this opens the door to a warm heartfelt conversation. While this is thoughtful, I am wondering if something led you to start doing this? These are the 8 marriage myths you can safely ignore. When will I see you again? They congratulate each other on the birth of a new baby or a cool vacation photo. There could be incriminating photos, texts, or a call history that would prove to be evidence of an affair.

Here are tips for staying connected with your partner when you have to be apart. Skip links Skip to content Skip to footer. Share on Facebook. Save on Pinterest. All of a sudden, they are getting everything they need from another man or woman. After years of not getting their needs met in the marriage, this can be a huge relief.

If you are reading this article and are someone who has found relief in a relationship with someone other than your spouse, I have something I want you to do. Before you destroy your marriage and family by leaving for another person, I want you to think about what you are really feeling. If you are a cheating spouse make sure that one of the problems below is not causing you to throw your marriage away just to keep from having to deal with them open and honestly.

When hearing such a statement it is easy to become panicked, to go on the defensive and react in a negative way. You need to not only say what is on your mind but to also listen to what your spouse has to say. It is important for both spouses to try to see it from the perspective of the other spouse.

Your spouse may have another opinion. If you are willing to listen openly, you may find that you have fallen short. That there are things your spouse needs from you that you have not given. If, after doing this, the marriage still fails you can both move on knowing you tried to work through the problems. This is also another very predictable statement that will come from a cheating spouse. If your spouse is spending more and more time with this new "friend"; then there is probably more to it than mere friendship.

Your spouse may feel they have a lot in common with this person, that this person understands them and things they are going through. Whatever the reasons for the friendship, it's a big warning sign and one you should take seriously. If things the two of you used to share openly suddenly become private pay attention cause something is probably up. Cell phone and credit card bills may be hidden. If you ask why or attempt to find out information that used to be common knowledge between the two of you, you will be accused of snooping or trying to control your spouse.

Big warning sign! Men and women who are involved with someone else will request more space, time alone or away from the family. They may say it is due to confusion over their feelings or stress at work. This can be a sign that there is someone else and the spouse is trying to figure out ways to have more freedom. Working late is a great cover for a spouse who is having an affair. If your spouse suddenly has to work late after years of coming home at a certain time then I would say it is safe to be suspicious that something other than work is going on.

Work related excuses are a good way to account for large blocks of time away from home. Women who have hired our private investigation firm to complete surveillance are shocked to learn that their partner has a private, secret box. Your boyfriend is buying expensive clothes and paying particular attention to his hair.

Telltale sign: the man who use to lube his car now sports manicured nails. He may be boosting his self-esteem, but there also may be another reason for this "extra effort. He comes home from a long day of work appearing freshly showered, well-groomed and smelling better than when he left. Is that new cologne he's wearing? A few years ago we performed a surveillance case for the wife of a legendary rock star, to determine if he was having an affair. This job didn't exactly go as planned, as the rock star had a unique way of minimizing his exposure. We eventually caught him messing around in Miami, which led to a divorce.

He's wearing gold rings or chains for the first time. Or you find out that he's buying women's jewelry but you haven't seen any of it. Could it be a gay fantasy? He keeps cologne, hair spray or blankets in his car. Ticket stubs, hotel keys, greeting cards, lipstick holders, earrings and condom wrappers find their way into your home without explanation.

He has a sudden commitment to improving his physique. Or he joins a gym, tells you he's going there every day but his appearance doesn't seem to change from month to month. He denies that health clubs are good places to meet people. And even though he says he's benefiting, he doesn't want you to work out at the same gym.

The number of hang-up telephone calls at your home has jumped. But when he answers the phone, someone's always on the other end. Or after he's made a call, you hit the redial button, but you don't know the person or company on the other end of line. You observe an unusually high amount of text messaging. He keeps his phone close to him; at night.

He receives texts from unfamiliar numbers or with codes like " He hides the phone bills. When we provide our clients with the court-admissable, tangible proof of an extramarital affair, it can make all the difference in divorce proceedings, leading to more favorable settlements. He use to always be ready for sex, despite mood, workload or stress level. Lately, you've expressed interest and he's hesitant. Instead of taking the time to talk, he now walks out in mid-sentence and refuses to finish the conversation. Fights are more frequent and they never get resolved.

He no longer freely gives information. He doesn't want to join you for lunch. He starts an argument when you ask about his plans, thereby avoiding the question and making you think twice before you quiz him again. Two of your girlfriends saw your boyfriend with a woman at a bar, but when you questioned him about it, he said he was working late. It's time to: 1 see if he has a twin or 2 take a serious look at what's going on.

He gets on your case when you ask something simple, like how his day was. He's irritable and easily provoked. Does he get angry by your surprise visits to his office even though it's not inconvenient or inappropriate for you to be there?

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Maybe he doesn't want you to meet any of the new female employees at the office. When a client hires us to perform a surveillance on their partner, they want to find out for sure - and have court admissable evidence of the affair. Here's how it all works. Read more about surveillance services. If some of this relates to your situation, don't panic. There's no need to jump to conclusions. You don't want to jeopardize a valuable relationship over what may be unfounded anxieties.

21 Signs Your Spouse Is Having an Affair

Within reason, give him a chance. He might just have a good explanation. But if you see your relationship changing and many or most of these actions prove true, trust your intuition.


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You need to have an open discussion with your partner. You need answers. Some couples can resolve issues alone or with the help of a counselor. Others recognize that it's over and they need proof of their partner's indiscretion. They want pictures, a video or a formal report. Maybe they need court evidence. If you're considering gathering proof, consult with a professional private investigator.

Martin Investigative Services has handled more than 33, cases of infidelity and marital surveillance, the majority of which are women who believe their partner is being unfaithful. They can't afford to be naive. You might be surprised to learn that we catch ninety-eight percent of the people we follow. The investigator should be clear about a What the exact investigative service and plan is, b how long it is going to take, and c how much it is going to cost. The costs should never exceed the agreed upon amount.


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  7. There is almost nothing worse than telling someone that a family member has died. If there ever was something close, it would be telling someone that their spouse, whom we have followed on surveillance, ended up in a local motel with another person. We have followed both males and females who end up in a compromising position with someone of the same sex.

    It is a double whammy for our clients. We have had hundreds of clients over the years receive bad news about their alleged soul mate. Many clients get sick to their stomachs right in the office when they hear the news. Others become paralyzed with grief. I had a hard time deciding what real-life drama to choose for this chapter. Was it the daughter in who hired us on the recommendation of her mother who used our services in ?

    3 Ways to Determine if Your Spouse is Cheating - wikiHow

    Was it the husband whose wife made love to his brother in a local park? Was it the wife whose husband was recorded in the back seat of his car with his secretary? My choice went to Jane Phelan. Jane had less than pounds on her five-foot frame but was truly a heavyweight when it came to perseverance in catching her husband.

    She was very sure he was having an affair.

    What Are the Signs That Your Wife or Girlfriend Might Be Unfaithful

    We followed her husband nine different times and he was a candidate for sainthood. Right straight home every time. Time number ten was different. On this day, her hubby stopped at a local gin mill near his office. He was joined a few moments later by a female. Now what would be worse than dating the boss' wife? How about the boss' daughter? That's right, our family man was soon recorded snuggling up and kissing his boss' daughter.

    They later left the bar and proceeded to a hotel within walking distance. They were recorded entering and exiting the room. When they checked out, one of the investigators observed the husband throw away the hotel receipt.

    6 Signs Your Wife Is Cheating

    We retrieved the receipt and provided it to the client the next morning. She placed a copy of our video and the receipt on top of his cereal bowl the following morning. Jane was hurt but she was so very strong. She used one of our attorney referrals and did quite well in the final settlement. She became the strong anchor needed for her three young children.

    I admire her greatly as does everyone in our office. By the way: once the divorce was finalized, she sent her husband's boss a copy of the video. If one partner is unaware of the couple's finances, something like a divorce or delinquent child support payments may make it necessary to count up what's out there. An investigator can help.

    But keep in mind that there's an investigator on every corner who says he or she can obtain bank, savings and checking account records. Be warned: A liquid assets search is an art form practiced by only a handful of investigators in the United States. After being in the business for 40 years, I know of only five other investigators who are competent enough to conduct a thorough bank, savings and checking account search. Also be very careful of any investigator who offers to find stocks, bonds, mutual funds or certificates of deposit.